The Most Bloodthirsty ‘Twilight’ Merchandise Ever!!!

When Edward says ‘You are my life now’ and Jacob’s sculpted-in-chrome body bursts into ferocious canine form, all a woman can say is ‘I’d rather die than stay away from you’.

The countdown begins. June 30th, when Twilight Eclipse hits the theaters hormonal tweens, vampire fanatics, even middle aged mothers will be going wild for the hyper-anticipated summer release. With a cult-like following that catapults them into the league of epic trologies such as Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings, the merchandise surrounding this gargantuan enterprise is equally epic. Move over Zac Efron. Sweeping all two-legged females off their feet, Edward and Jacob are now sex symbols equivalent to Brad Pitts-in-the-making.

The undying popularity of the Twilight series has spurred an emergence of extremely odd products that promise to infuse us with decadent pheromones to capture our favorite vampire. Before picturing the typical clamato juice and fake fang get-up, rewind back to how a Jonas Brother’s concert quickly transforms into an oversexed zoo of underage children being sprayed with white foam. Young fans cannot be underestimated, their insatiable addiction to pop culture can truly move market trends that fluctuate along on their fickle tastes. In capitalist America there is room for everyone, even companies that make ‘Twilight’ condoms or life-sized Edward cuddle-buddies to name a few.

Let’s take a look at some of the over-the-top tokens Twilight afficionados are purchasing in order to live and breath Edward and Jabob.

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Twilight Volturi Immortal Liquid Body Shimmer Black Magic

NEXT PAGE: SLEEP WITH EDWARD IN YOUR OWN BED- LITERALLY

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Twilight’s Jacob and Edward Life Size Standup

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Twilight Condoms

NEXT PAGE: SMELL LIKE A VAMPIRE

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