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…but don’t you dare leave early.

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Easter is one of the biggest religious holidays of the year, so nine times out of ten, there’ll be folks there who haven’t been to church since Obama got elected (pick one).

Depending on the church, the lines inside could be wrapped around the corner and you want to make sure you get a good seat.

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Once service comes to an end, make sure you wait till the paster says the benediction (final prayer) before you leave.

Or else, be prepared for the looks you might get for skipping out on the finale.

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2. If someone breaks out in spirit, breaks out in dance or breaks out in anything next to you…just stay calm. God’s in control (literally).

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Church is a place where people can relieve stress or express gratitude in any way they deem fit.

And while you might not be holy ghost-filled and fire baptized, just make sure you make room for the ones who are.

You will get hit.

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3. If for whatever reason someone asks you to make a speech, begin your words with “first I’d like to give honor to God.”  It’ll win the crowd every time.

Now you might not have honored God since Sunday Best went off the air, but you might want to honor him that day. It’ll assure your family that you might have gone astray for a bit, but Jesus is still the reason for the season!

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Or you can just make it short and sweat. The faster you can get back to your seat, the better.

4. If someone wants to anoint you (rub oil on your head), and you see folks beside you falling down when they get touched, just go down with them.

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I know it seems like you’re being singled out as the demon child of the congregation, but there’s also a chance the paster actually might want to bless you. Just go with the flow. And if you’re not feeling it, just go down anyways.

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At least you’ll get in a quick nap while you’re down there.

5. Last but not least, try to enjoy yourself.

Folks might try to judge you left and right from how long it’s been since they’ve seen you, to what outfit you’re wearing.

But if you got all dressed up and fabulous just to make it out anyway, try to take the best from the day’s message.

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It just might brighten up your week.

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