First Self-erecting Bionic Penis Brings Out The Poetry In Reviewers

Source: ullstein bild / Getty

Just when you think they’ve thought of everything, the sex toy world is here to prove you wrong.

The British company Lovehoney is pleased to present to you the “self-erecting bionic penis” Uprize!

That’s right…the dildo product has a floppy mode and with the touch of a button, it can grow into a fully erect 6-inch penis just for your (or someone else’s) pleasure.

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Once hard, the dildo has a motor in the tip with ten different settings ranging from “intense to off-the-scale.”

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You can thank China for inspiring the “AutoErect” technology. Their snake toys, which can stand erect or curl up like a limp you-know-what, served as a muse.

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Reviewers are already singing Uprize’s praises, to the point where you’d think Shakespeare was behind the keyboard.

Descriptions of the item range from “mesmerizing to watch” to a “mighty mechanical beast.”

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If you need inspiration for a future open mic, I’ve gathered the most poetic lines from reviewers just for you.

Swipe through to discover the wave of emotions Uprize is stirring!