Hey Millennial! Here’s The Real Reason You Can’t Keep Friendships
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Do you remember when you were younger? You had no problem making new friends at school. All you had to do was have one thing in common and you would suddenly have a best friend forever. However, as we grow older, making friends and maintaining friendships has become harder to do. Vox has come up with a good reason for that and to be honest, it’s been pretty obvious all along.
Their reasoning is plain and simple, you can’t keep friends as an adult because you’re probably a flake. Chances are you want someone to be there for you but you’re hardly ever there yourself. We’ve all been there before. We make plans with friends and cancel at the last minute. We feel a sigh of relief when friends cancel their plans because we really didn’t want to go anywhere in the first place. We don’t show up and support when we probably should have. It happens. The number of self-proclaimed homebodies, recluses, introverts and anti-social humans has grown amongst millennials. Frankly, who needs to go out when we have the Internet, right? Well, if you find yourself lonely and friendless, Vox broke down a few simple ways you can fix this and become a better friend.
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1) Don’t be chill when it comes to making friends. Tell people you like or respect or value that they’re great and you want to hang out with them. < — This should be a given. Words of affirmation aren’t reserved to just people you are dating. You shouldn’t be afraid to tell people you find interesting that you find them interesting. There’s nothing wrong with telling people that they’re cool and you’d like to hang out. It’s not as bad as it seems and once you’ve done it the first time, it becomes much easier.
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2) Be personal. Talk about your real problems, and ask people about theirs. <– Keeping yourself closed off will make it so much harder for people to consider themselves your friend. At some point, they’re going to excuse themselves from the relationship and you’ll be back to your lonely, friendless self. Feel free to open up to someone. Reveal things in small doses until you feel comfortable in their trustworthiness. It’s still okay to keep some things to yourself so don’t feel forced to reveal everything.
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3) Get comfortable saying no to people you don’t want to prioritize. <– “No” is not a bad word and it’s much better not to make promises that you can’t keep. If you can’t make it to someone’s event, or flat out just don’t want to, decline the invitation and maybe try to go to the next one. It’s better to say “No” in the beginning, than to flake.
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4) Remember to reciprocate. <– Friendships are all about balance. You give a little and you get a little. If your friend tends to be a giver, don’t forget to return the favor. You don’t have to keep a checklist of all the things they do for you but it’s always a good feeling to know that someone cares enough to appreciate what you’re doing for them and do the same in return.
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5) Show up for people who matter to you. <– This is very very important. Be there. Be there. Be there. I can’t emphasize enough the importance of simply being there. That doesn’t mean just going to their outings, but be there for them emotionally as well.